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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Discover 90/10

No posts from long time. This line posted by one of my friend made me sit up and take notice.
But you know how life is after all………its like running on the edge with mixed feelings- sometimes pre-viewing and most of the times imagining the worst possible outcome of every situation we are in.
Recently I was reading this article (although I got it years back from one of my cousin who happens to be the part of BPO industry)—for those of you who are not familiar with the term; its means Business Process Outsourcing;;;;if you want more ask any American and see how they twists their tongues………now no more jokes.
Else my article will get lost. Oh! Actually not mine.
The author is Stephen R Covey. The one article written by him (I bet it would change your world view or at least it would convince you to “think”.)
The piece is named “90/10 principle.
Sit back and discover the 90/10 Principle.
It will change your life (or the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane would be late arriving, which throws our work schedule off.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. But you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool you.
Control how you REACT………yes you can do this with little awareness and calmness.
Let’s use an example.
You’re eating the breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for the work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30mph speed limit.
After 15 minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs in to the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?..........because how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D”.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “Its ok sweetie, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns back and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. This is how the day would begin for you.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Because how you reacted. Here are some ways to apply this principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you.
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired. Getting stressed out……etc.
Why stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.
Now I know what you all must be thinking. That you are aware of such situations and circumstances. When our heads cools off, we all think that the result could have been averted if………….’I would have not cried out of my throat, and many more instances.
There might not be anything new in this………..but trust me I only applied this after reading this out…..before that even I was the same old cribbing Jane who feared seeing the brighter things of life.
While you enjoy this I just sign out with the promise that there would just be no more self-imposed delays.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


“Some things in life require great deal of thought.” I read this line in one of the weekly column Anushka Shankar writes. The caption of the article she gave was more eye- catching- EXPRESS YOURSELF.
As soon as I read these two words I took fancy to them and voila- I immediately got rid of my writer’s block…………….Thank you Anushka.
Your words came to my rescue when I was unable to transfer my thoughts on the piece of paper.(Even in the day and age of virtual world I prefer to write because this seems to be the only activity we invest in even in times when we have keyboards to our command because it actually detaches me from the ‘mean-machine mercantile’ world.
Now back to expressing…………………………
A lot have been happening in the world but more than good the bad or in some cases worst is taking place- innocent people are losing their lives. I mean it feels as if people willfully don’t carry their souls these days…
Thank God I faced writer’s block during the times when half of Indians didn’t went to cast their votes, when IPL was all about who waved to whom with plastic smiles and who can forget the mystery blogger, when we got the new government with the same old-wise Prime Minister………..and more such things. At least, I saved my energies against assuming and hoping something that would have never benefitted me directly.
Look at how unfocussed our lives have gone these days and recession is making it worse and in the process, we are neglecting the most important area of our lives- relationships and most vitally our relationship with self and this way we are prone to succumb to situations that confront us.
Saint Kabir has said that ‘we cannot change circumstances to our liking….things follow their own course of action. Some of them maybe complimentary or otherwise.’
What I believe is that life is ever –changing and that’s the beauty of it. I am sure we all have our own thesis on LIFE...
I wonder how we love to advice people on the problems occurring in their lives and when the same troubles falls upon us, we start complaining. We tend to believe that experience teaches us a lot but what happens when we consciously avoid falling in particular situations…
Most of the times we think about our future and crib about our past and in the process overlook the present. Many a times even I fail to fulfill this promise to myself. Don’t know where these random thoughts are coming from ……but that’s how I think creativity flows.
Life is an opportunity, Make most of it. We are repeatedly told this but then they also say opportunity knocks once or twice not thrice… what’s next …Do you think only two knocks on the door called life fulfill all our wishes and how do we recognize on which knock to open the door?
I think the key lies in being aware which can only be achieved by thinking Positive………..believe me it actually helps to see things as right and wrong to gain absolute clarity but remember you have to be really HONEST and see how everything will fall into place.
Shed your inhibitions and get ready to experience life and see how it takes you to surprises and sometimes sorrows but be sure that you are there on right time.
So why worry yourself sick?
We all have our lists of do’s and don’ts in life to be successful. At the same time, we have our own definitions for success. Mine may be different from YOU. But that’s how we are programmed to do things in different manners and this is what makes us ‘UNIQUE’.
Actually, we are programmed to do things that are acceptable in our society- and it’s always that we don’t comply to most of the things- personal, professional and societal.
This destroys our natural mechanism to take risks to be the creator and nurturer of our own lives (we resists ourselves from realizing our true potential).
Remember the only thing that can change you for better is only YOU.
Bhagvat Gita has a verse that says “Nothing happens to us by chance, something shall happen to us only if we deserve it.”
My mantra is ‘Gaze into the valley of fears, Think positive, Keep your intellect safe, Forgive and forget, don’t assume, don’t expect and CELEBRATE LIFE………………….BECAUSE

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Let there be LIGHT

Today we celebrate International Women’s Day. Ok, I accept that this day is dedicated to women from all walks of life. Every here and there is the list of women who shook things up to make way for themselves and the realization of their dreams….no problem at all. At least a few are inspired after reading these stories.
But, before celebrating the emancipation of womanhood, there are lots of things that need to be settled first. My heart aches every time I hear about female infanticide; every time a woman is forced to abandon her infant (either an illegitimate child or the girl-child). At the same time, tears rolls down my eyes when people come forward to adopt these babies or hospital staff who tender those infants.
Now what my concern is that why do we need to reserve a day to pay respect to the women who matter in our lives- direct or indirect. How far this celebration will take us when for a day you grant every wish of your mothers, daughters, sisters, wife and your female colleagues in the office and the next day, you (men) are the same old authority in homes and offices.
When will we be able to list women who are every day forced to desert their dreams, aspirations, ambitions and goals so as to accommodate their families, those women who are beaten by men- known and strangers as well, those killed for dowry, in fact we all are surrounded by such women and their tales of submission and pain, still we don’t do anything about it. Such a list cannot be made because the entries would be infinite.
But, why am I blaming men only? Most of the times, we women are ourselves to be blamed……….thank God I am born in 21st century where at least- the attitude towards women has transformed marginally; people are a lot more tolerant. Yet, we fear shedding the excess baggage tied with our image. We never allow ourselves to priorities our own desires, objectives and aims.
Why do we forget that the independence we got is as much the heroic effort of Ranilaxami Bai, Sarojini Naidu, Chand Bibi and others as that of Gandhi, Nehru, Bhagat Singh and others? In this age, when opportunities are vast and varied, ironically, the crimes against women are growing at an alarming rate worldwide.
If we take up our causes in any way, we are tagged as feminists. When renowned bollywood actor Priety Zinta stands for her causes and beliefs, she is labeled as MAN. I am glad that she challenged the notion and said, “Don’t call me man. I am a woman and I am equally happy to be one.” We need more such women who unabashedly, blatant and forthrightly assert their choices no matter who is opposing you.
International Women’s Day will remain just a phrase until the lives of those to whom this day is dedicated will not be adored and cared for. Previous to participating in such celebrations we need t o answer the few questions…..
Many times, I have come across situations when home-makers are compared with the working women. This restrictive attitude is causing rifts in families where both kinds of women co-exist. Most of the times, the home-maker is under valued in comparison to the working-class women. Being a home-maker is an equally important job and the only difference is that it is done selflessly without expecting anything in return, but a little gestures of love and care that we often take for granted.
Is bravery only the virtue of Man? What late Kalpana Chawala and Sunita Williams did cannot be forgotten, still there are many men who discourage their daughters to dream, and in fact the worse is their mothers are not far behind in demoralizing their daughters.
Why do we dissuade our daughters against falling in love and getting married to the boys of their own choice; while on the other hand we happily welcome our daughter-in-laws our sons fallen in love with? Aren’t daughters equally entitled to express their choices and affirm their beliefs?
I want to ask those who kill their daughters in the name of honor of preserving their family don’t you worship lord Krishna who epitomizes love and tranquility in all its forms?
Why is there hue and cry when after getting married; the girl decides to keep their paternal surnames? We have every right to present and express our identities the way we want and it should be respected at all cost.
Why are women forced to keep in their failed marriages for the sake of the children while the men can walk over it anytime?
Why many amongst us turn our eyes against single- mothers who are making every effort to bring up their children, Why not we indict men who desert them?
Even I love my mother like other daughters but I do not want to be like her. I want to chase my DREAMS……….I am already on the track….as I wrap now few lines come to my mind:
Once I was the GIRL,
Who love to dance to the songs of the rain-drops?
Who talk to the moon and the stars?
Who asked mamma to go to shop?
Who played with the doll?
Who dreamed to be on the top?
But now I am not the same girl;
I am the woman now,
Who now understands the meaning?
Of my mamma’s tears, when,
I was child;
Who hopes the world to be a better place?
Before my angel is born;
So that she doesn’t need,
To sacrifice her life in,
The name of ‘pride’.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Bar-ed Pubs

Last month as the world cheered change in the form of Obama as he wrote history for being the first black President of US and we also celebrated 60th Republic day. I suspect if we the women could ever be able to celebrate our Gender- every now and then we are attacked for our sensibilities, orientations and approach towards life, not just by strangers but also from our own fathers, brothers and husbands. The way women empowerment is being talked about these days with veiled eyes I feel scared. Not all but a few amongst us are reaching glass ceilings.
The condition at lower level is still same. Why are women always held accountable for crossing the lines, walking against so called Indian Culture? Can't we have our own lives?

What happened in Mangalore was very shameful and disgraceful. The self-appointed custodians or say hooligans who attacked the pub should be tried at the hands of law. But what can be more fearful and squalid is that even today most crimes commited against women are not punishable; even the accused cannot be arrested. In this 21st century feminsm where is the freedom, we are still struggling hard to come to terms with our gender-bias. We have to follow a certain code of conduct, why is it so?

What I throughly believe is that in the pre-independence era our grand-mothers used to enjoy much liberty than us in this intolerant day and age ( my grand-father tells me how unheared these crimes against women during his time were, where ever they lived, women or their gender were never degraced in times) so what has happened now? Much before that, the heavenly world that exists in most of our mythology where Indra is the king, Rambha, beautiful dancer in his court, are always shown enjoying Madira. Today, it would be wrong to say that 'pub culture' is against Indian Ethos. Infact, a research has proved that alcohol was very much part of our culture in ancient times. The Ethos we follow have come from our ancestors and they are changed from time to time as they come in contact with different cultures and histories- shaped and reshaped. Traditions are defined by people and get modified from time to time. It is all a matter of personal choice.

Shri Ram Sene Founder said, 'Women have to be protected as the law has failed. Parents are worried about their wards going astray........................ there is no need to raise hue and cry about the incident'. Why not, Mr Muthalik?

Are not you justifying that you wanted to protect so beating up women is the part of our culture?
Every time women ventures out in male bastions, why you always raise voices, why are men allowed in pubs, clubs and bars?
why did n't you offered jobs to bar-girls who go to bars to make money out of complusion?

I really do not think if you have ever went into the interiors of our country, into the villages because if you had been then you should be able to see how women (with choice) in villages drink and enjoy hookahs and other .
If you in real sense wanted to protect and preserve, take hold of man who beat up their wives, forces them to do things against their wishes.

'The state would take some tough decisions to stop the culture of boys and girls going hand in hand to pubs and malls for drinking', said Ashok Ghelot, CM Rajasthan.

Mr CM, there are more bigger problems our nation is facing today which you people need to take care of and young people having fun is not on that list. Stop this CRASS, be sensible. we don't expect our netas to be like this. Doesn't the young politicians in Congress and other parties go partying?

Please be realistic. and

Dear Ladies,
It is more worthwhile to question, express opinions and voices than to live 'DEPRIVED' life.

Here are few lines on beautiful Indian woman:

when she is born,
you become gloomy.

when she goes to work,
you fret and fume.

when she is at home,
you call her burden.

when she marries,
you burn her for dowry.

Have you ever thought,
what life would be without her?

No hand to wipe a tear,
No one to dispel fear.

whose songs would soothe in sorrows,
and help to venture into tomorrow.

I donot want to live in the society where I have to always ask "why should boys have all the fun?"
Infact I would love to say, "Its also a Girl's world."

Monday, February 2, 2009

Barking Against the Dog

The times we are living in are quite deceptive. I hope most of you will agree me. After garnering huge success around the world, as 'Slumdog Millionaire' released in our country, I am very much aware of the hope, optimism and positivity generated by the movie.
While many of us loved the movie ( for its high-power slum drama) there are still some beating the drums against the faithful dog. I dont know why are the ones sitting on the 'hot-seat' claiming that Danny Boyale has sold the "Indian Indigence" very clevery to his western auidence.These people may have their objections, thank God we live in a democratic country.

What I want to stress here is that the negative reactions to the movie actually manifest that our 'acceptance level' is very low. I am not in anyway trying to preach anyone here. As an economy, even in these recession times, we are growing by leaps and bounds, at the same time, it is equally alarming how our youngsters are losing their jobs and what happened to Satyam is all well-known.

The way we are soft on terror, we are terribly intolerant as a society as well as ignorant about our surroundings.

65% of the total population of our country is with-in the age group of 18-35, most of the people, including me, live in posh colonies in cosmopolitan cities without realising that many in this country still goes to sleep on empty stomachs with no shelter on their heads. Think of how ascertained the ones who are born with silver spoons in their mouths, who may not have seen cows on roads, just the way we saw, who never played in mud and how astonishingly they may be watching the less-fortunate street kids when their laxury cars were flocked by these so-called dirty kids on the red lights.

I really don't know about others but nor am I ignorant about such appalling conditions that unfortunately exists in the interiors of our towns, cities, villages and country, Neither do I want my children who are not yet born to be uninformed.

Why do we have the tendency to hide? Hide-ing the abject poverty and hopelessness that the movie has beautifully explored.
A saying goes that 'a person, his character and personality is known by how well he behaves with those below him in rank, status and class. So when a movie is made about the lady who comes to clean your home and dishes, the boy who cleans the windows of your luxurious car; how they make efforts to realise their dreams and aspirations that may not be big?
and not about you- the star in their own eyes that makes you start fretting. I pity you.

If you really accept who we are, where we come from Let us atleast make an effort to do something for those less-fortunate than us.

This clearly proves how the social fabric of our country is getting weakened day by day and at the same time I was relieved to hear in one of the interviews given by the child artist who worked in the movie, how his perspective about the slum-kids changed after he lived that life himself even if it is just for reel. On being asked what he learned by working in the movie, he said, "Earlier when the slum-kids used to flok my car at the traffic jams, i used to shut the windows but after being part of the movie I now keep packs of buscuits in the car so as to give them to those kids and no more shut the windows".

This is our future generation. I believe none of us would want troubled times ahead for them like the way we are facing now.
When our kids will not know that such areas exists in our world, time is not far when their brain will drain that will not allow them to take up community services much needed even today for social-conditioning.

Inturn, how will our country rise to become the super-power (the dream we have been nuturing for a long long time); how will we atttain this dream when these less-fortunate people will not progress on the same platter as us? This will not be possible unless we see their realities with open eyes and ear.

We all talk about the role of media and cinema; how they can influence our thought-process? But have we ever wonder why our movies fails to promote reality with the exception of few?

Let me put forward here a statement given by renowed director to some newspaper, he said "What we show our viewers is a complete sham. Even a jobless man finding it difficult to make ends meet is just too well-dressed in our movies".This clearly estimates how far are our movies from the reality, grossed in their own fantasy land.

At last I would like to end it here on the note why do we take everything for pleasure, why not treasure?

To be Continued........

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Desperate Measures

Dear all,

It would not be wrong to say that the year 2007 was the revival year for BJP. While the stunning victory in Gujarat elections saw the emergence of chief minister Narendra Modi on the national platform and the bagging of Himachal Pradesh brought a new high among the party workers.

But the year 2008 changed it all with respect to what the party actually expected. However, it succeeded to retain Madhya Pradesh and Chattisgarh; it managed to hold on Karnataka; for the first time got a few more seats in Jammu and Kashmir but lost Rajasthan very badly and could not topple the Shiela Dixit government in Delhi. What is more worrying for the saffron party is that all this happened when Parliamentary elections are few months away.While the principal opposition party, the Congress, still look unwilling to name their prime ministerial candidate, projection of veteran party leader and former Deputy Prime Minister L K Advani as its prime ministerial candidate during the Gujarat election campaign was the move that worked well for BJP. It heralded the end of Vajpayee era; it can also be seen as the personal triumph for Advani who earned the wrath of Sangh parivar after his controversial remarks on Jinnah.

But the fizza in the party has changed in the past one month and it is making all worse for Advani. First, the veteran party leader Bhairon Singh Shekhawat remonstrated how the tickets were sold by Vasundhra Raje Scindia in the recent elections. Now on the occasion of 'vibrant Gujarat', Anil Ambani and Sunil Mittal pitched for Modi to be the next Prime Minister.We live in democracy and the corporates have every right to express their choices but they should also understand that a nation is no corporate. Kalyan Singh once again shifted his political loyalties.

However, there is no denying the fact that one and a half year ago, Modi all by himself succeeded to generate 'Hindu Sentiment' in Gujarat leaving behind all those who predicted 'No Win' for the man. Since then the focus of media and analysts has rightly been on the struggle for second slot between the party chief, Rajnath Singh and the chief minister, Narendra Modi? With speculationsdoing the rounds that some of Modi's colleauges seems uncomfortable with his rise and the brand of politics stands for. This also calls for getting insights into what kind of person Modi is? He is very self-centric and tough decision-maker as per media reports.

The growing stature of Modi within his party clearly indicates his role as the key campaigner in the upcoming elections, but it could also serve as a litmus test for him, with Gujarat merely a steeping stone because his core appeal still rests on the events of 2002. Infact, I read one his statement he had earlier given to some paper. On being asked about his Hindutva, he said he only sees himself as the leader of 5-million Gujus. This statement in itself reflects his base of hetrogenuous support system while India as a democracy is "Pluralist and homogenuous" and to be the Prime Minister of such 'diversity and dissent' the PM has to be acceptable to all indians; irrespective of how mch dynamism does the man have to revive his party and nation.At the same time, we should also not forget how he was not denied the visa to USA when he attempted to visit the states.

BJP too has to introspect that is the party willing to give reins in the hands of the man who has shown no capacity to work in a team?

But now Modi has himself clarified that he sees Advaniji to be the Prime Minister of the country; we understand the hidden sentiment now since Advani has few years to give to the politics, Modi would not like to disturb it at any cost.
As Modi becomes a force to reckon with, the challenge before BJP is less about who its leader will be - either now or in near future. It will be much more about what kind of alternative it has to offer to the country at large. The bread-and-butter issues are what are coming fore in every state. More than Ram it is Roti that occupies the mindset of today's voter.Advani may be the pragmatic face of the party for the past few decades, as far as his vision for the country for the next five years goes, as a prime-ministerial candidate he doesn't seem to have any conclusive plan for it.

It seems everything is falling into the place at a right time. The new Advani dharma: reach out to BJP beyond the traditional vote bank making it a party with a difference. In a run-up to elections, he(Advani ji) is making all the efforts to be tech-savvy (he has his own website and the PM-in-waiting will be on every social-networking site) so as to reach out to YOUNGISTAN.

It is clear that his party-men are gearing up to set Advani ji on his journey to 7 Race Course Road. At the same time, he should understand that the citizens of this country wants results; it (nation) has woken up, has seen how brtually our "Soul was fractured" on the day Mumbai was attacked. It seems good the way old Hindutva model is repackaged in more delectable terms: all temple talk, Article 370 were replaced by the real electorate issues: good governance, development and internal security.

In this day and age, I am sure Advani ji will make every effort to make us fell more secure with a sense of belonging to India so that every citizen irrespective of his caste, inspite of how poor he is will be able to achieve, dream and aspire so as to fulfill our collective aims and goals.

The party's rise began under Advani's leadership when it first set the political agenda and emerged as premier opposition party but a lot has changed since then. Modi's win may have electrified the party but to see the next leadership of the party emerging under him would be like asking the man himself to readjust his style, orientations and approach of his politics if he is to fit in the present polity which is earmarked by the predominance of coalition politics.

This is the point that in itself stress th eimportance of the original 'iron man' of the saffron party. What goes for Advani is that although he cannot provide the poetic vigour of Vajpayee; he has allies behind him; his statesman-like age will help him to unite the various factions of the BJP's second generation leaders. He is almost there with the promise of good governance but he should see that controversy does not find him again since the saffron spotlight is now firmly placed on him.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Ode To OBAMA.....

Dear All,


Tonight I sleep with a smile
on my pearly lips
far from the land that
witnessed history being made
i felt hopeful and optimistic.

The momment arrived on
20th January 2009
when Obama came, won
and conqured all.

As he stood with his hand
upright to take oath in
the name of GOD, the
world blessed him with misty eyes.

Tears of happiness and joys rolls
down the eyes of all and sundry
as the new sun rises on the shore, the
world expects a lot from you Hussein.

Voyage to reform is hard and long
Never lose vision and hope as you said
we will work to make this world a
beautiful place, to make our future
generations secure.